Self Preservation

paralyzed in the motion of emotions
these are not waves
those waves of grief, anger, sadness 
those waves 
they speak of
no no no no
this is a fucking ocean
sea. 
everlasting vastness of thought
daily
everlasting
daily
everlasting
rolling masses of fear 
over raw, bare bodies of 
- of those i protected 
i protected
me from
only served to fill the vast waters with
salt